When The Forehead Finally Hardens

"Energy Solo Fair this weekend!!!" screamed the handmade sign stapled to the cock of the corpse found in a dark alley by police officers earlier in the day. So it was decided right there and then: the entire family would attend the Energy Solo Fair, but first we needed to find the location. We covered the grandchildren in glitter and told them each to pose in a way indicating the possible candidate location. Adamaddict (the slow grandchild) immediately posed as the Amsterdam Anthropology Site, as we all knew he would. Oklawards, on the other hand, had had enough puzzle days to come up with something really helpful, but in the end posed as her paper funhouse and we could tell this was getting us nowhere. The adults decided to shove cheese in the children and perform experiments on the resulting headaches in the hopes that the children would hallucinate the correct location. Well, long story short, we never figured it out, so we just sat around the living room while Adamaddict performed a retarded rap approximation to the accompaniment of his cellular device. Honestly, I could have used a quick varnish irrigation at that point.