Sunday, February 27, 2011

Swallowing Directions

The Corporation has spent billions spraying the best diseases on the city and its surrounding areas, and now we have scores of little girls coming to us complaining of little twat sores. In an effort to deflect the bad PR, we have decided to begin pumping the best diseases instead into nice hot doughnuts, because everyone loves doughnuts, and if they don't they deserve diseases.

Speaking of twat sores, I was appalled recently at the insanity of trying to get some action with the intern from Colombia and nothing being unzipped! I was questioning the health of her mentality attitude and her future at the Corporation when this dude suddenly lunged across the room and bulged against her nature. Since my slippers were padlocked to the desk, I instead transmitted two randomized debates inspired by one of my own childhood interviews about ramen noodles directly into his brain, causing him to cease bulging. Unziption is sure to follow such a heroic act.

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