Touring Lava Handlers' Show Eradicates All Disease

I managed to produce a little stool (with some difficulty) after necking two or three bottles of expensive Nigerian carbonated water. I prefer to excrete solid stools, as opposed to crop spraying (qv).

Anyway, as I emerged victorious from the public lavatory on the floor level, section D22, of the Continental Airlines Arena in East Rutherford, NJ, some young boy in a Norfolk jacket shouted, "Don't you grin at me, you young muff!" First of all, I am not so young, and next, I am certainly no muff, so I shouted back, "Do you even know who will be the star attraction at an airport shop? Do you? Have you seen the last remaining bottle of the world's oldest single malt whiskey leave Scotland for Hong Kong, you little knee-scratching weevil washer?"

Obviously this tugged a little on his heart strings, as I later found out he had recently lost his parents in a freak Scottish whiskey accident, so he began to tear up a little and we decided to go to his house to place a stork’s nest on the roof for protection from future claps of thunder. I mean, the boy had no parents—who else was going to do this kind of work?

Electric Boogie Men "Breakdancing (Live on Musikladen, 1984)" (buy)