X-Rays Of Heartbreak

Diversity news: dried two-for-one think volcanoes can be found for less than half the price of half a pack of holiday fruit if one looks hard enough.

In other news, a reliable source has decided to de-colon a Chicago-based teenaged fleece paraplegic for the value of his ubiquitous pantomime and, oh yeah, his fertile balls. However, a Chicago city official hastily declared the action offensive and put the plans temporarily on ice. He was quoted as saying, "Let Chinese gymnasts bounce and flail, but leave decisions about Chicago's fleece paraplegics to Chicago officials!" Many found his statement unobjectionable.