Friday, March 20, 2009

To Apologize To The King

The Postmaster General, former host of TVs Masters of the Maze, J. D. Roth, has declared all letters, circulars, newspapers, pamphlets, packages and other materials unmailable. Aside from generally being postmaster, his interests have mainly focused on the mechanisms of fear as well as subtropical or tropical dry forests, subtropical or tropical moist lowland forests, subtropical or tropical dry shrubland, subtropical or tropical moist shrubland, subtropical or tropical high-altitude shrubland, subtropical or tropical dry lowland grassland, arable land, pastureland, and urban areas.

He is one of the most flamboyant Postmasters General in recent memory with his usual work attire being a basic black hatched unitard with white chest and fluffy warmers, but he occasionally likes to delight his employees with a far more glamourous black velvet and rhinestone costume, with a black jacket fitted with electric flashing fairy lights to make the most spectacular and magical entrance.

His burned, dismembered body will have been found a week after he goes missing.

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