Shrub Lands And Dishpan Hands

Let it hereby be known that Walas, farting monkeys, Jethwas, Raijadas, air-humping clowns, cavemen, ballerinas and male figureskaters named Chudasamas are hereby ineligible for residential mail delivery. Henceforth, these residents will receive their mail via 96-electrode "Utah Arrays" placed on the surface of their brains. A link will be connected to the outside of their skulls, which can be connected to a computer and "hard" mail can then be read in the same way that many read "e" mail today. Residents refusing this method of mail delivery will be stabbed and their spinal cords shall be severed, making such delivery a necessity rather than an option.