If Bacteria Had Engagement Rings

I don't want any more original artifacts or period room reconstructions in this house, period! I herewith cite the need for a "fresh eye"! Anyway, that's enough for tonight. Let's get cuddly and I will tell you stories about your grandmother!

(4 and 1/2 hours later)

Did I ever tell you that your grandmother participated in anti-dictatorial organisations to highlight Canada's fur trade history? It's true! Or that she played a major role in getting the quadratic form of J applied to the vector S? No shit! She was also instrumental in developing extra sharp man made snow crystals to rip the wax off those blasted snowboarders' bases! And then your mother burst forth from her pussy. I kid you not.