"Geez, you sure ate my Ritz® Crackers fast!" said a former funeral home worker who pleaded no contest to hiding a baby's body in the pants of a man's corpse slated for cremation -- apparently to avoid paying an extra $50 fee, "but even with that weird cakey layer of Ritz® around the back of your throat I can still feel the vibrancy in your ululations."
Hap Palmer “Under the Stick” (buy)
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