Steel Shamrock Blamed For Crushed Luck

11:15 am. meeting with Boss™ re: re-reading and rediscovering virtue. almost pooped pants.
11:37 am. back at desk. squeezed out very saucy fart. thought i pooped pants. went in bathroom to check—everything ok.
12:30 pm. small talk in kitchen. almost pooped pants.
1:00 pm. lunch at dog n dive. forgot to wash hands.
2:10 pm. worked on powerpoint presentation for elk’s lodge.
3:45 pm. meeting with james chrysler of chrysler re: nachos. pooped pants, but only a little.
4:55 pm. day almost over! c’mon 5:30! wooooooo! peed a little in pants
5:30 pm. on the way out the door, caught pants on rusty nail, ripped entire leg off
6:30 pm. dinner—sausages.

Anne LaPlantine “Anne Hamburg (Excerpt)” (buy)