Two-Timing Turtle Greeted With Jeers And Howls

The other day, I was in WalMart when I saw motherfucking Angelina Jolie! She was there buying shoes for her bazillion adopted orphan kids. Anyway, she was also there with some non-famous friend of hers. I overheard her say to her non-famous friend, "I get sick by fat chicks that I almost threw up when I kissed one..." To which her friend replied, "Yeah, me too."

Then I bought my powdered milk and left.

John Ellis "What Did I Do" (buy)