Two Drummer Bands 8

boredoms

Everything Falls Apart

I am currently writing a blog entry, but I don't know why.

Dog Butter

Dog Butter

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 24

i was in a car crash or was it the war
but i've never been quite the same
little white lies
like i was there

Two Drummer Bands 7

miles davis

Call Nick Broomfield

Kurt Cobain and Richard Nixon died within 3 weeks of each other. Coincidence...?

Two Drummer Bands 6

adam & the ants

Space Exploration Is An Absurd Waste of Money: A One-Act Play

This play stars Oscar® winner Tom Hanks as Dr. Bill and acting phenom Tom Cruise as Dr. Stan.

[editor's note-- when these two-- The Toms (Cruise and Hanks {alphabetical, the only fair way})-- finally team up, not only will it be an action-packed, hilarious, tear-jerking tour de force, the fucking Academy will be PISSING little gold statues! It will make Lord of the Rings look like a nominee for Best Foreign Short Film or something! They will have to create new categories to acknowledge the true GREATNESS of the acting combo of the freaking century! The Toms: THE two finest actors of our time! (OF ALL TIME?) in one movie?! Fuck me!!]

Scene: a dramatically lit operating room. The two doctors, Bill and Stan, stand around an operating table examining the subject, which looks like a pile of raw ground beef, for several minutes without talking. Finally Dr. Bill speaks.

Dr. Bill: Well, I think all that's missing now are its head, arms, legs, internal organs and flesh.
Dr. Stan: I think you are right. But once we get those, we'll be done!
Dr. Bill: Yup. A little more government© funding would be nice, that's for sure.
Dr. Stan: I hear that! And some blowjobs! (winks)
(the doctors high-five)
Dr. Bill: Ha ha, yes! Giving or receiving?
(long pause)
Dr. Stan: So, ham for lunch again, huh?
Dr. Bill: Yeah, but it's a fresh kill!
(Dr. Stan looks like this gives him an idea as the curtain comes down.)

END

Two Drummer Bands 5

the feelies

International Excuse Day 13

I nailed the doors to your Dodge [grab life by the horns] Dakota Quad Cab SLT Plus shut because Wheel of Fortune was on.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 23

(this entry is a first ever long distance dedication. it goes out to Derek, whom I have never met...)

winston churchill had a speech impediment
and look what he did!

Two Drummer Bands 4

ornette coleman double quartet

FYI ASAP BYOB ETC...

Vacuum cleaners suck, but not nearly as much (albeit with twice as much enthusiasm) as your grandma.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 22

i don't care about you
fuck you

Two Drummer Bands 3

grateful dead

The Healing Powers of TV

Sometimes when I sit back and survey my situation, and I see my dog's guts strewn about the room and all over the baby, and the razor wire is unspooling itself, and the upturned fishtank has left my goldfish gasping for breath, and the knives are dancing like little Russian ballet dancers or something, and the walls are crying, and the stench of garbage is overpowering, I think, "Thank you, Urkel, for showing me my soul."

International Excuse Day 12

I glued twelve pounds of Kelloggs' Froot Loops© Cereal to your front door because my grandmother wets her bed regularly.

Two Drummer Bands 2

butthole surfers

Blame Huey Lewis

If you have ever thought of taking any drugs for any reason at all, then maybe Freedenol® by Jones and Jones is for you. Ask your doctor, or really, just ask anyone.

Two Drummer Bands 1

38 special

Guess What?

chicken butt

Traveler's Tip

When in Oslo, heed everyone's warnings: it is indeed not safe to leave anything of value in your car.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 21

reaganomics killing me
reaganomics killing me
reaganomics killing me
reaganomics killing you

When It Comes To Noses

Sometimes a good pick can accomplish more than 100 blows.