This play stars Paris Hilton as Dionne, the down-on-her-luck but spunky girl-next-door, and Oprah Winfrey as the grizzled old been-there, done-that dyke Maddie.
Scene: night, city street. (present day)
Dionne: Ew! Is that a used condom?
Maddie: No-- it's just a baby's sock.
Dionne: Well, it's still kind of creepy. I mean-- where's the baby?
Maddie: You got a point there, kiddo. Wanna get a hot dog and mayonnaise?
Dionne: Sure. Are my pants on?
Maddie: Yes, oh yes-- yes they are. Your pants are ON! Wooo!!
End
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