Maybe 'Honky Tonk Woman'...?

They should teach more than just that one song in Krsna school.

Tom Who?

Then there was this time I met Tom Cruise at a record release party for Toad The Wet Sprocket in 1991 or so. For some reason, we ended up talking to each other, and after just a few sentences, he says to me in that terrible Jack Nicholson impression that he does, "I'm thinking of buying a Ferrari." "OK," I say. Then he turned more serious and asked, "Do you think the chicks will like it?" I didn't know why he would ask a complete stranger such an asinine question, so I responded, "It depends-- what color?" He laughed and said, "C'mon man! Red, of course!" I said, "Only naked chicks like red Ferrari's, so you're in luck." This next part has baffled me ever since. Then, he sort of made an overbite face and held his hands out in front of him in the traditional bunny pose, and hopped off like a bunny.

International Excuse Day 18

I replaced your Dwarf Winter White Russian Hamster’s skeleton with that of a Blue Sided Fairy Wrasse because I have always believed that children should be raised speaking at least two languages.

Stuffed Baby Surprise

You can use dried apricot or peach halves, folding in half around the nut, instead of the figs.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever® 34

i go to his house
knock at his door
people come out and say
foot foot don't live here no more

Ronald Reagan Returns As Naval Vessel

Nancy Reagan emerges from mourning to welcome home her husband, Mr. USS Ronald Reagan

U.S. National - AFP

SAN DIEGO, United States (AFP) After a mere six weeks of incubation, former U.S. President Ronald Reagan returned in his new form to San Diego today for a tearful reunion with his beloved wife, Nancy.

The white-clad Nancy Reagan, last seen publicly as she wept over her husband's coffin at his sunset burial service on June 11, appeared frail but smiled broadly as she greeted her husband.

The 83-year-old was flown by helicopter onto her husband's shiny deck.

Mr. Reagan arrived in his new home port of San Diego for the first time Friday after a long journey from death, leaving his former human shell behind to travel untold distances of time and space to a final destination: his new body. His new form appears to the human eye to be a 334-meter (1,096-foot) nuclear-powered vessel.

Mr. Reagan sailed from Norfolk, Virginia, and travelled more than 29,000 kilometers (18,000 miles) around Cape Horn, at the southern tip of South America, conducting training and air engagement exercises as well as making jokes in his well-known warm demeanor with the locals of Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile and Peru and finally to San Diego, prompting officials to question whether Mr. Reagan was aware of the Panama Canal's existence.

Mrs. Reagan greeted and chatted with several officers and crewmen before eventually turning to the crowd and exclaiming, "Well, you will have to excuse me boys, but my husband is back from the dead and it has been a long six weeks!" eliciting chuckles from the crowd. The chuckles soon turned to astonished gasps as Mrs. Reagan peeled off her clothing and began rubbing oil on her husband's hull.

From The AP Newswire 2

(SUBS 12th graf, `Gov. Arnold ...', to correct that chamber says it considers many, not all, suits filed under the law to be frivolous.)

From The AP Newswire

(RETRANSMITTING to fix slug. SUBS lead to recast; SUBS 11th graf 'The Naval...' to correct to 'Investigative' sted 'Investigation')

Substitution

No cottage cheese? A regular-size marshmallow that’s cut in half looks just like a bunny’s tail.

You're Not Nuts! 8

best brand shoulder-length neoprene 6731 chemical-resistant gloves

Something I Learned About Greedy Swedes

The typical Ikea store in Berlin makes between €200,000 and €300,000 per day during the week, and usually about €700,000 on a Saturday. So it makes total sense that they pay their employees €8 per hour.

Tommorow Night Kabul

I am writing this from the road since I am currently on tour in the middle east with my band Car Bomb. We played Baghdad the other night-- it was fucking CRAZY! You probably saw the headline, "Car Bomb Rocks Baghdad". That was us! What a fucking great show, man. Wish you coulda been there...

Girls United In Urination

Today I found out that it is not just girls together at a club, or girls together at a restaurant, but it is also construction worker girls on the job that go to the bathroom in packs.

Grandma's Feces Smell Like A Granary

What do you use for bait? Normally I use worms or cheese or cinder blocks or my winning smile.

Um... Chocolate Sumo?

What is your favorite Estonian all-girl band? Mine is Vanilla Ninja.

1. DEE & DEE STORE #1 2. FREDRICK FEKKAI (2)

Well, I think I had better get going. I'm going to go and find something for dinner. I'll probably get a GYRO or something like that. I'll try and write some more later. Until then: Well, let me get going for now. I'm kind of hungry. I'll try and write some more later. Until then: But right now, I'm so tired I can't think stright. I'll write some more later on. Sorry people. I am so fucking tired right now. Well, that's pretty much it for now. I doubt I'll write anymore tonight. I'll write some tomorrow and tell you how my first overnight went. So until then: I'll try and write some more tomorrow. Or should I say later considering it's after midnight and a new day? But baring any difficulties, I'll try and write. Until then: Well, let me get going. I want to go and check my laundry. I'll try and write more later. Until then: I'm going to be so tired tomorow. All I know is that tomorrow, I'm going to get confused as to where to go. Ok well. Let me get going for now.I'll try and write some more later. That's pretty much it for now. There's more, but my hand is begining to hurt. There's a lot of them, so I'll have to put more in here seperetly. Well, that's pretty much it for now. I'll try and write more later, if not I'll speak to you tomorrow. I know it's going to suck. LOL. He wasn't mad, but he is still confused as to why this happens all the time to me and nobody else. I'm fucking exhausted. My brother in law just now drove me to a movie theater so I can fill out a job application there. Well, that's pretty much it for now. My hand is begining to hurt. I'll try and write more tomorrow. Until then: Well, I don't know what the fuck is going on. Well, I should get off for awhile anyway. I don't want to press my luck with this thing. I'll try and write some more tomorrow. Wearing: Just shorts. It's hot and very humid here in NYC. Ok, that's pretty much it for now. I'm going to get going for now. besides my hand is starting to hurt me. I'll try and write some more later. If not, I'll see you tomorrow. How the mother fucker did I get in this situation? I have no idea on how to get out. Well, there is one way. I'm literally at the end of my rope here. Well, that's pretty much it for now. My hand is really hurting me. I'll try and write some more tomorrow. Well, better get going for now. My hand is actually starting to hurt. I'll try and write some more later on. Until then: Well, it's ok, my hand needs the rest anyway. It's been bothering me .

Oh, did I forget to mention I was doing my laundry?

Oh, did I forget to mention I was doing my laundry?