Hide The Gerbil

I wasn't really so surprised to see the rats in the kitchen. What with all the day-old loaves of bread, stacks of cheese and open jars of peanut butter lying around, I guess I should have expected it. But, when they burst in-- all wearing baby-blue-tuxedos, line dancing to the Billy Ray Cyrus song blasting out of their tiny boom-box, (where did they find that thing anyway?) carrying a sacrificial salamander-- that is when I was taken slightly aback. The sacrifice cerermony didn't last more than 30 minutes, and was actually quite beautiful, what with all the singing and crying and hugging, and palpable hope that next year's harvest wouldn't be so bleak. That is, it was beautiful until I was the one stuck cleaning all the virgin salamander blood off the kitchen floor.