Anal Was Squalor

Before breakfast, I had already faked my own death, picked and eaten wild blackberries and collected a good-looking woman. After breakfast, I continued with my productive schedule by painting my tombstone in the form of a miniature windmill on my neighbor's door. Later, when my blood had been thinned with fire, I rubbed the oven for twenty minutes. However, this failed to quell the normal shaking and jostles of walking. Suddenly, I saw that my cousin had used his own hand to form a distress signal with my great-aunt's corpse, so I dropped what I was doing and shouted as loud as I could, "You'll be a burning building!" which seemed to scare him off.

Show A Scarecrow In My Face

Two islands successfully completed their From Now On Concert Tour with their spiritual tutor, the host of TVs Back That Fact, Joey Adams, who also served as regent on the tour. The logistics of two islands--even tiny ones-- touring are unimaginably complicated, thus the host of TVs Back That Fact, Joey Adams wore his glass coat at all times, even while cycling. Once when I saw him sneaking towards a morsel of sour remembrance when he thought nobody was looking, I shouted, "Another bird! Another bird! Another bird!" until he finally stopped. For the remainder of the party, he avoided conversation, instead arranging a large number of teddy bears and other soft toys in displays located throughout the house.

Simple Enough Creatures Bred

I: A spokesperson for the English Government today issued an official statement that the English people as a whole are "humiliated, hurt, spurned, offended and angry, but more than anything, sorry for corduroys."

II: The officer removed his clothes and took them over to the boy, or more specifically, to the beer. One could clearly see on his naked skin the signs that he had been scratched by the torches and had recently eaten his first faint smell of dawn. In order to avoid being tossed overboard for good, he ran around gathering all the good French beans and the forks. In the meantime, the other crew members created a little stone that dealt with explicit requests using an alarmingly undersized set of tools. In the end none of that mattered anyway since the ship had enough capacity for 9,000 containers according to the companies' requirements, but was carrying 11,250 containers and sank without a trace, presumably somewhere in the Indian Ocean.

He Wrote Some Wine / Warmly Humming Birds

If you really want to get your point across, you should enter bare-knuckle boxing matches. This is the most effective way of reassuring your friends and supporters that modern art will prevail over political oppression. You might also consider fewer bubbly puffs on your own thoughts (also known as intellectual incest). I would also recommend avoiding having any scandalous photos being released to the GPU (general public understanding), as this exponentially reduces the possibility that runoff from copper mines will become lodged in dogs' snouts and that said scandalous photos will be seen by the contractor of any future projects.

Trifled With His Whisker

Members are veterans who cut a pint of Thing-In-Itself into thin slices and become transfixed by soap-suds. Once such member was none other than the host of TVs The Name's the Same, Dennis James, who rented a conventionally juvenile position, casting himself as the knight and she who he rented as his saving remembrance. This didn't last too long though since he was just a little too into it. Shortly thereafter, his estate was ruled jointly by his three sons who moved the estate to the eastern slope partly because of the unsettled political situation. This, however, ended all of their lives in deepest disgrace.

So I'm A Night Now...

One time I traded 1 carp, 2 eels, 1 tench, 1 roach, 3 perches and 1 barbel for three pounds of minced thyme. I can't say it was the best trade I ever made, but I am no longer wiping blood from thumb, if you know what I mean. You remember those people grovelling for furniture outside the hut? I once was overtook by these fellow-creatures and spent the night on the floor of that very hut.

Something Hilarious For Clinical Obsessives

Take twenty minutes (or eggplants) out of your day to sit down and enjoy a fearful catalogue of lies so detestable, it will weigh on your psyche like massive rusty chains for the rest of your life. Or you could always covet somebody else's pork until it is taken sank. Sank pork is in several ways equivalent to a posthumous pardon or a faulty Emergency Flotation System (fEFS). An Italian lutenist and singer once referred to the experience of eating sank pork as similar to sitting on his own blue eyes.

The human race was going now.

Seem To Have Degrees Of Freedom

The cook salted the water gently. He knew all and went into the nearest man with his instrument with shocking ferocity. He tried to look at least as though he had somehow happened upon his former laugh without biting it in a long-overdue, spiteful eruption, but it was difficult. He was old enough to remember when valuable golden coins were issued again by the royal treasury, but young enough to be paneled in teak and chucked in the ground. Before the "incident", his uprightness of character was never in question; it was homeomorphic to the surface of integrity.

Lips, Thick And Fleshy With Plicae Or Papillae

You could hear the teeth-- pharyngeal teeth in a single row of at least 16-- in his voice as he tried to steady the bulldozer. He took one memorable gulp of raw air and jerked the controls while softly asserting his coolness by simultaneously attempting to seduce his daughter-in-law. When he thought about her playing football, wrestling, basketball, (girls only) soccer, baseball, softball, track and field, volleyball, cross country or cheerleading, it made him want to shove the slightly less than thoroughly beautiful, poor miserable creature on the back of the bulldozer and let the engine idle significantly below its designed capacity.

Gratification Of His Disturbance

The inventor and sole copyright holder of the electropneumatic paintball marker, the host of TVs That's the Question, Bob Goen accidentally sat on his sister's square, stout, dark eyes when she left the box on the couch. Even though her parents simply retrieved the spares and popped 'em in, she cried enough water for six people for six days, and that's counting the volume lost during the de-salinization process. She was deeply scarred by the incident, later referring to love as a myth and comparing her ex-husband to "dating a whisper." She would never be flowing with child, and mysteriously died when she was only 22.

Perhaps I screamed myself fat. When you have this many foodstuffs on your cheeks, you can be wrong sometimes.

Birth To Kill Churchyard

Being aware of the black Pomeranians' rapid transformation as well as their matching helmets, the Professor General of the Modern Global Trade Languages Centre, Dr. Holden Caprice smacked his eyes 31 times each with a light, judicial touch. Since that time, he has undergone extensive security modifications by defence contractor Tenix Mesoridazine Metabolism, Inc to remain pharmacologically effective against the black Pomeranians' ever-growing list of powers. His beautiful round elbow pits remind many people of a sad honeysuckle and 24 monuments to them still remain all along the coast.

Roughly Translated As Death Squad

To celebrate our 558th post, we here at 2T&AC proudly present this list of all branches of the Sacramento Public Library starting with the letters M or N:

Martin Luther King, Jr. 7340 24th St. Sacramento, CA 95822
McClatchy 2112 22nd St. Sacramento, CA 95818
McKinley 601 Alhambra Blvd. Sacramento, CA 95816
N Highlands-Antelope 4235 Antelope Rd. Antelope, CA 95843
North Natomas 2500 New Market Dr. Sacramento, CA 95835
North Sacramento 2109 Del Paso Blvd. Sacramento, CA 95815

The Colored Sheep I Had Discovered Were Gone

I used to always try to make sure every dish was honored by one egg and a pinch of poignant surprise. That is, until I took a big bite and found myself with a mouthful of securities fraud and obstructing justice. It was exactly then that I decided to change my approach. Now I cook on the atomic level using mainly nucleophilic substitution on the alkyl halide, to give the alkylated compound a fresh aroma and Brussels sprouts-like texture. But I still experience a perpetual inner conflict when I leave the poignant surprise out.

He (Dis)Agreed That His Eye Fell

So your brother regularly feels around in your sister’s cupboard-- what do you do about it? This is a question many people are asking themselves these days. I know people who have tried fermented benzaldehyde and that worked, but when they threw coffee grounds into their shimmering rainbow, nothing. So you just have to try different things and see what works. Your grandmother was rumored to have used an undifentified gel which she applied to your sister while she slept, by (in)visibly crawling over the piles of (un)bagged tents in her room to reach the bed.

After your grandmother's death, it was suggested that she held the belief that a non-hearing person was not competent to administer a university. Which could, of course, go some way toward explaining her death.

Dry Choking Sands With A Hint Of Eggs

Scientists reported today that they had proof of the existence of filthy limericks in over one thousand and two worlds. Dr. Solarll Heensfij was quoted as saying, "This is a gruesome nightmare. This basically turns my life's work into nothing more than a flapping broad-brimmed low-crowned felt hat of questionable origin. I would rather drink a tumbler of bacon, cream, and brown sauce than listen to this drivel any longer," and stormed out. As if that wasn't enough excitement, suddenly an escaped convict was spotted reclining on a slave and the press conference was over.

Relations Were Permanently Soured

I was our mouths. I did all the talking. With my mouth. At the time, I was painting a lot and attending a lot of vigils, as well, I was drinking too much hot gin-and-water with croutons. Probably the beginning of my downfall was when I began selling and purchasing pharmaceuticals in the receiving community to support the local economy and avoid customs issues. Anyway, long story short-- a recklessly loose-lipped witness forced us to barricade ourselves in that storage facility and I was our mouth-oriented spokesman. That's what I am trying to tell you.