Thursday, April 30, 2009
She Touches A Voice. Remember?
“Consciousness is intrinsically elitist,” says the host of TVs Extreme Dodgeball Bil Dwyer; however, according to the host of TVs Bruce Forsyth's Hot Streak, Bruce Forsyth, it is not so much consciousness that is intrinsically elitist, but rather the futility, and some would say the failure, of consciousness. He continues, "with apologies to a hallucination in a movie, a number of demodernisms concerning the dialectic paradigm of expression may be revealed in the form of an envelope and... Whoops! The green shimmering of a note..." With this he swayed in time with the sunflowers in the walls, implying shallow narrative.
If I were you, I would avoid accidentally letting me in on that, or really any, totality, because if I have been to my experimental swallowing class, I can be a real fuckhead when I get home.
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
His Letters Observe Resolve
We left chocolate chip frog dicks in his fucking car when we spotted it in the parking lot. Mrs Joe and my sister looked disconsolately at me, but hey, the fucker earned it. After his bedding cut my sister, I was surprised that she wasn't more pissed. But then again, it was her bright suggestion with the prison-ship. So we stomped on his most cherished morsel and we were on our way. When we left him, he was begging for his favorite candy, Munching Way, but we ignored his pleas as we watched the prison-ship pull away.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Raw Flavor Predominates Cheese-Balls
Ox tongue will resolve itself into cones when placed in a large bowl with milk, water and lots of ice cubes. We can go to the way of preparation that injects spoonfuls of stalk, minced pickles and sieved flour directly into the center of the ox tongue cones. A diminutive tank made of malformed parsley, salt and very cold slices, the host of TVs Personality Puzzle, Robert Alda came up with a method of ox tongue cone injection that would automatically inject two dessert spoonfuls of the filling mixture an hour. When the filling injection process is done correctly, the implement will appear to be extremely smooth. Very extremely smooth.
Monday, April 27, 2009
The Soul Of My Bondsman
Have I a story of love? Have I the team of the river? Have I a knack for dark diving? When you hear the answer to these questions, it will be like someone is puffing dried cum in your ears or holding your legs to a candle. But if you walk to the river's end and bust a magical siren, I won't have to tell you at all-- you will already know. I tried to find it once myself, but found myself under a waterfall of your blood. The next time, I took a guide, but still wound up with my headphones in my socks.
Friday, April 24, 2009
Wondering Lament Of Him
I remember days of one schilling waffles, coming up to Mrs Joe, the way she took explanations and placed them upon the table and the way she made the drinks too sour to be wrong. I moved his leg. "A man -- using both sides of my chest, and having so far away that boy," said the stranger, quickly, and brushed his beard trimmings on his own weather-cock. Then, of course the course I underwent went within. The other convict was in the kitchen cupboard, alongside a pint of bread; earlier her bosom and the top of the other was held in the coarse hands he had. Then I had your sister. "Yes," I said to be very proud, "come in, Mr Wopsle, in it!"
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Four Geographical Departments' Existential Phenomenology Divisions
After the assassination of his brother, Clamley, the host of TVs Legends of the Hidden Temple, Kirk Fogg fell from favour. He grew more and more depressed and withdrawn until he finally began working with multiple sublabels, specializing in publishing musical works pertaining to darkwave, dark folk, gothic rock, deathrock, ethereal wave and other "gothic" genres of music. Sometimes his friends at Bombardier's Advanced Rapid Transit Technology would strip him down and force him to play an instrument whose strings are at right angles to the sound table, such that a line between the lower tips of the strings would point at the neck, while they danced around a huge chandelier. He died when unknown assailants forced him to dig a long trench and then shot and buried him.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Angrily Scolding Tranquillus With The Then-Popular Five-Shot Colt
A large group of spotted owls are said to have self-funded a trip to New York to meet with the great blue herons and ravens to discuss either developing an incredibly lethal poison from Locusta or the idea of laying a trap for the black-shouldered kites and California quail. There is evidence that the spotted owls were trained as goldsmiths during the trip, and that Vestal Virgins would make fresh mola salsa daily for them and feed it to them from their own mouths, as a mama bird would. Several of the black-shouldered kites were convicted of treason and executed in 1680, rendering the trip and the plans moot.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Bravo Bravo Workers
Your father could never be aptly described as having a bright and happy disposition, courage, willingness to work, alertness, intelligence, or love of water as some of his characteristics. His pottery skills are pathetic, and a constant stream of drool flows from his mouth almost year-round and during peak flow has been known to inundate the hallway leading to his office, as you are well aware. He often argues over the definition and nature of heresy and free thought and could easily be sued for "tortuous interference" for the near-complete coverage of your hometown with his graffiti slogan, "Tear apart older portions of the island with your gun and knife!"
But still, I gotta hand it to him-- he can butter a mean slice of toast when he puts his mind to it.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Still Worshiped By Most Chinese
The Battle of Dien Bien Phu Action-Time® Action Figures can disguise themselves as different types of chemical compounds, most containing a sulfur to nitrogen double bond, so as to minimize the time the time machine spends waiting for instructions. Children could use this toy to reverse the southern branch of the Druzhba pipeline to supply Slovakia, for example. With optimum wind conditions, a child could use the toy to graduate with highest honors in 1928 or become a communist following the partition of Vietnam. Recommended playtimes are detailed on the box, but it is safe to say they are nearly daily in the late afternoon. The set comes with specific instructions for finding your lost child in the space-time continuum, including 3D coordinates and amusing games and riddles to pass the time spent waiting.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Your Infinity Smells
Before the host of TVs The Pop 'N Rocker Game, Jon Bauman was the host of TVs The Pop 'N Rocker Game, he was rhythm organist in the band Cult Werewolf Lisp, which predates Common Lisp and even earlier, he was part of Spice Lisp--we're talking around 1980 or 1981. To find mental solitude, he sought to achieve a fragile balance between faith and the Foveon-written future and started inhaling fumaroles located at at least 2,740 m once or twice a day. No one is really sure if it worked, but he recently changed his name to Nathan and Christy Bauman.
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Not Discontinuous, But Gradual
Yoshinaga was a town built on fuzzy logic based classification algorithms, was a former president of the Attakapas Council of the Boy Scouts of America and also created the "Dr. & Mrs. Paul M. Davis Distinguished Citizen Award" which was to be presented orally-- from the tongue of the presenter to that of the recipient-- in a passionate kiss that should last exactly 37 seconds by rule. Needless to say, Yoshinaga's membership in one class or another was ambiguous, and was therefore not a candidate for renomination in 1940. To avoid any further embarrassment, Yoshinga merged into the city of Bizen some time later, although the exact time of the merge has never been released.
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Lofoten Is Located West Of Steigen
Remember that time we rolled that corpse we found in patchouli and hair and set it on fire? And then danced around while emptying about 20 cans of Glade® Air Infusions® Lavender Meadow® in order to utilize the UltraLast® technology to infuse the air with fragrance that covers the stench of burning flesh, hair and Patchouli? I was reminded of that recently when I did in fact catch a cub with my bare hands while trekking through the California mountains. I don't know why-- I guess I might have been wearing the same shirt?
Monday, April 13, 2009
Measuring Your Co-Workers' Eyebrows While They Sleep
The host of TVs Face The Music Ron Ely had himself successfully separated from his conjoined twin Don at the age of 12. When they were teenagers, they became the first openly gay, formerly conjoined couple to host a drive-time radio show on a major station. Ron later had a Byzantine-inspired rotunda and a new main entrance installed on his upper body to further distinguish his appearance from that of Don. In much the same spirit, Don made a pact with the devil and flew through the sky on the backs of goats nearly every night. And this was after having surgery to attach a purplish-blue gloss exoskeleton which blends into blackish-grey on the chest to his body.
Ron and Don lived together until the time of their death resulting from the malfunction of a giant drum they had spinning around their entire bedroom to simulate the sensation of the room turning upside-down.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Appear In Her Genital Area
When we heard that the giant on Firle Beacon threw his hammer at the Wilmington giant and killed him, we decided it was time for a dinner party to celebrate! However, due to infections with bacteria that don't look like warts and also don't look like fordyce spots look in pictures, we decided to first have the apartment sterilized by a professional. I thought it was about time for my famous urethral meatus and crushed gravel stew, so once the sterilization was complete, I turned off the radio transmitter and got to work. About the time we were sitting down at the dinner table, a powerful explosion took place in Moscow in the apartment opposite from the one belonging to Natalia and her family, so that really put a damper on the supposed rain dance.
Additionally, I've been with the same girl for a year and she has never seen so much rubbish in her "catch".
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Dismantling Of The Proprietary Land System
SANTA FE, New Mexico - The world's largest sheriff's department has selected a hologram of a donkey to take the the helm of the agency’s law enforcement bureau. When asked why Santa Fe would possibly need the world's largest sheriff's department with a medium-sized populace and one of the lowest crime rates in the country, the donkey hologram simply looked around impatiently and said nothing. He then took the donkey-sized piece of chalk in his mouth and scrawled the symbol "@" on his chalkboard-- indicating he needed to go "number two" -- and shut off the hologrammer, effectively ending the press conference.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Painted Like Benny
As part of his ambitious endeavor, your brother Danweyl first became qualified as a mĂșinteoir taistil, then had plastic surgery to add a distinctive speckled lower lip and silver sided body. I wasn't supposed to tell you this, but the surgery was performed in a square stone-built structure that was erected in 1902, to the dismay of many locals since the structure itself was built exclusively from impairments in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye-to-eye gaze, octahedral numbers, centered triangular numbers, centered square numbers, decagonal numbers, and a Smith number. And well, it looked like a pile of crap on top of a rotting corpse. It was later moved to become one of the 15 secondary schools in Novi Sad, and then moved again to St. Louis, where it was the site of one of the worst mass-murders in St. Louis history. It was then moved to the other side of the city, where it still provides education for grades 9 through 12 today.
By the way, how is Danweyl doing these days? I heard he was really taking the amputations hard.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Traditionally Matured In Caves
The host of TVs Extreme Gong George Gray once owned a TV that weighed a little more than 3500 pounds! If you find that astonishing, wait until you hear that he used it as a seat! But his chair was not the only thing made of otherwise fully functioning TVs-- so was the entire house and everything in it! From the refrigerator to the toilets to the walls themselves to the curtains, everything emitted that familiar blue glow and faint electric hum while still serving its other purpose. Even the water, the toothpaste, the roast beef and the socks were made from extremely tiny TVs. At the time of his death from a masturbation accident, his home used an amount of energy equivalent to that of the entire cities of Casper, Wyoming, Sanford, North Carolina and Wauwatosa, Wisconsin combined!
Friday, April 03, 2009
Groups, Septs And Associated Clans
Making your own yoghurt is doable at home. I just made some a millisecond ago with some culture, in a thermos I found in the trash while on my lunch break. I had my own cow that I milked but I took its skin for a golfer's bag, so now I don't drink milk. One thing to note about my cow is that her ugliness gained her international fame and celebrity – her death was a top headline on major news websites and gossiping lips. Not only that, but she slept in the bed with me and the missus-- of course, only while wearing moisture wicking pajamas. Now we get our milk from something that kind of looks like a cow, but delivers lumpy, bluish, foul-smelling milk. This milk is fine for baby, but some prefer to strain the "lumps" out before "adult" consumption.
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Pointed Toward The Moons
The Portrait of the host of TVs Jeopardy! and The All New Jeopardy! Art Fleming was created in 1588 by an animatronic version of the famous pile of Votoy Small Animal Wood Chews Tooth Trimming Remedy Hamster Chew Stix in the 144 count Jar-- on one of the 12 days when it reportedly sprang to life and did, well, stuff.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
Spicy Chicken Consumed Widely
As a youngster, he wanted desperately for all of his muscles to be smooth muscles. Meanwhile, he had just buried his great-aunt (whether she was dead or not is still a matter of heated debate -ed) in a beautiful village situated between several of the holy rivers one typically finds in holy-river-rich areas. During the amalgamation process, he had to merge his numerous computer systems with a preparation involving onion, garlic, ginger, cinnamon, his brother Ricardo, pepper, chilli, mace and involuntary movements, causing additional stress during an already difficult period. This was long before he became Head of the Mining and Metallurgy Department of Kresge's drug stores for several years in the late 60s. I remember clearly how, in the early 90s, he finally smoothed the last of his muscles and yet committed suicide the next day after a love disappointment. His flawless air passenger record has been almost universally praised since his death.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)