Where Again?

The other day when I woke up, I did not know what country I was in. My first guess was France, but as it turns out, I was in Italy. I knew I was in Italy because of the lack of hot running water.

I Don't Mean To Go All Ziggy On Your Ass, But...

Sometimes, it seems like everything in life means going around and around in an oval as fast as you can.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 20

grandpa the nickel
grandma the dime
both in the ground before
plastic could improve their lives

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 19

everybody's talkin to computers
they're all dancin to a drum machine
i know i'm living on the outside
scared of getting caught between
i get so cool and calculated alone in the modern world, uh-huh
sally had a hard time gettin back
the alley to her heart is a beaten track
she's got the love monkey riding on her back
you want love?-- i got it
c'mon girl

You're Nuts! 15

Corn Nuts®

Already A Good Thing

For me, the best part of lasagne is that crunchy/burnt cheese that you get around the edges.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 18

my beloved Tania
we carry your gun
deep within our hearts
for no better reason
than our lives have no meaning
and we want to be on television

Without Silverware!

Tom Hanks and his awful wife can eat my dump.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 17

why are there so many songs about rainbows
and what's on the other side?
rainbows are visions, but only illusions
and rainbows have nothing to hide

You're Nuts! 14

Pine Nut

Or Maybe A Drunk Swiss Retard Shouting And Playing Air Guitar?

Q: What is worse than a white guy with dreadlocks?
A: A white guy with dreadlocks at a poetry slam.

If The Fonz Wouldn't Do It, I Won't Either

I don't close bras.

International Excuse Day 11

I accidentally removed your liver and kidneys--replacing them with a pineapple and two tomatoes-- because I misplaced my book of crossword puzzles.

Best Rock Lyrics Ever 16

through the fear of being real
to the fear of being really you
living it up is a big kick
it's good for you
ya ya ya ya ya ya ya-ya ya

Britney Is, Like, So Deep

Is it just me, or does anyone else find that Britney Spears' song, "Me Against the Music" is a musical tribute to Andrej Tarkovsky's 1979 metaphysical science fiction classic, Stalker? I mean, what with how she keeps singing about how she needs to "get in The Zone", it seems obvious to me that she is musically assuming the point of view of the main character (Stalker) on his journey to The Zone. Combine this evidence with Britney's well-documented love for classic Russian cinema, and I don't think there could possibly be any other interpretation.

You're Nuts! 13

Water Chestnut